Entry 440

Entry 391



















Church life is Awesome !
I'm glad i made it there earlier this morning.
Good friday is this coming Friday and Easter on Sunday.
What does these days mean to you? merely just some random hols?
well there is more to it than some mere hols.

At church today Donna spoke a timely message
i reckon each week i get filled like never before

Dear God

your never fail to amaze me and you are the reason i can smile each day (",)

ruth

well the entire service this morning was just awesome !
Bout tithe, like how much you bless us with each day even when we don't deserve it.
Matt 10:8 Freely you've been given, freely you have give.
How has your giving been?
I know it is hard to be consistent when there are too much things to invest in this world.
But think again once u have made that decision and stay firm in it there will not be a need to think bout anymore.


The message this morning was very timely.
It somehow seems to me that in every season i am in my life, God just know it!
It is like spot on.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

Well the message is about : PERSPECTIVE OF THE PALACE
























We are right in the middle of our journey now where we do not know what is in the finish line.
We are called to be in the world but not of the world.
























Genesis 37
When you are loved and have a God loved life, there are people who will hate us about it.
Every small day has the power to be a destiny and a big & great day.
We never know the great day but if we live in our conviction through suffering, our small day will be a great one.
Genesis 41:41-49
























The palace represents opportunity, position and future.
God puts us in a place of influence not for us to be full of our position but getting on with the purpose of the given position.
Can you see the purpose of being where you are?
Do you see the opportunity? Network? Do you see the situation you’re in as a palace?

In the midst of all our circumstances, there are people out there who are far worst than us. Count your blessing. We have to understand the bigger picture despite of the midst of our circumstances. So often we miss the main point of the purpose why we are placed in our palace.
God has called us to rise up and shine for HIM!

Entry 345



I'm so over it.
Being caring seems overrated to people.
So over the lil kids in my unit. Like grow up man!



I keep telling myself it is just couple of days more.
Just persevere on.
If you have persevere on the whole 2 solid years.
what is 2 weeks? haha..
Being optimistic



So instead of stayin in my room getting all worked up.
By crappy noises & stuff going on and slaming of door.
i did a camping mode at the Library and the Computer Labs.
It does make a different.



Like why bother focusing on the problem.
When you can do something about it.

For instance, you are having a final tomorrow.
and people in your house just rock up and play a movie blasting the volume.
Your neighbour roomie is talking out loud?
what would you do?
rock up to them and yell at them?

I have the right to be angry but isit worth it?
Getting angry at lil kids who still doesn't get it after being told a gazzilion time?
Why was my energy on crappy things when i can use it for better use.
Like why even bother talking anymore when simple respect doesn't exist.


It's like selective decision. Like selective hearing.
People will not change right away.
Coz everybody thinks they are the best & right.
Bottom line is you can't change other but you can change yourself.
Change your perspective regarding a certain person.
Well it's not easy but not impossible.
coz everyone is different.
If everyone is the same life would be different.



Over the years being me.
Just hanging out with people of different walks in life.
No groupie business rather just chilling with everyone.


Like this blow flower, everypart of it plays a part.
Same goes in life everyone who has passed through my life has certainly played a part somehow.

Does make life different and more interesting.
Interesting enough by hearing funny comments from all over.
I don't know whether it's just me
But whichever group I hang out with there is always
Remarks/comments/critics/appreciation about other groupie.
Which I find it funny. Like what bout me?
The hanging/floating around person with no groupie? haha..


Joke of the day:
Was over in my residence office today.
Got to know that there will be a Singaporean next year.
Trust me I was Happy!
Told the lady at the office to put her in my unit.
As i have been living with whites the last 2 years.
Therefore i have been westernised and need to be asian-ised back :P
Now get it why i need to be asian-ised back?
i miss being asian hahaha...

ok back to book another 8 days to go! 3 papers to go

cheers
ruth

Entry 344



I am sitting in the library now
I have got a paper tomorrow afternoon
I have a laptop in front of me

Today marks the 6th year since i had a massive revamp in my life!
browsing through my posts on my blogs(ruthz & zhaoyen) on 11th November.
Didn't write much the last 4 years except last year [November11th]

Entry 257

Lil Update :
It has been a LONG DAY !
Barely had any 8 hours of sleep today, having to sit for an exam at 8.30am which weight like 60% (all subjective) yeah taxation law. Feeling scared to my bones I hardly slept till 5am. Then dragged myself to uni, halfway to uni I thought I forgot my student id. Running back home half-way I checked my bag, and guess what it was in there. So 2 hours and 10 minutes papers went fast. Walking home thinking of the amount to pack I took my own sweet time to walk. Then an hour later my dad and siblings came. Empty my house.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------

THE CHRONICLES OF BROOK BESOR



Brook Besor?

Where are you?

A new place in Aussie?

HAHA..that was the reaction I got when I changed my msn nick to

ruth@Brook Besor

You must be thinking WHAT IN THE WORLD IS BROOK BESOR.
It is a word which I found very close to my heart from ‘FACING YOUR GIANTS’ by Max Lucado.(Great book!!check it out)
Basically ‘BROOK BESOR’ is a narrative which describes, a deserve shelf space in the library of the worn-out. It speaks tender words to the tired heart.

This year has been like me being in Brook Besor. Taking this big step to come down under to think through stuff and at the same time excel, has been a challenge. Firstly coming to a suburb where I know of NOBODY and to unfamiliar grounds was a massive challenge for me but this is not the first time so it wasn’t too bad. The first few weeks were though, coz smarty me decided to skip orientation for Chinese New Year haha.. But I don’t regret any bit of that! Besides that, I reached here down under like three days before uni started haha.. Smart eyh?! Neway, God was good he provided me a room at uni so which means I need not travel from my aunt’s for more than 2 hours to and fro each day. Feeding my soul spiritually each week at an Anglican church honestly, it felt kinda dry. The culture was a total opposite to FGAKL but I continued to attend it week in week out. I could have decided to let go of everything. But I’m glad I didn’t coz we are serving the same God. As days went past in the first semester, I began to make new friends from all over and we even had a Bible study on resis by Erika Khoo, great job mate! I was searching for a youth group back then and then again God provided. It all happened when I was walking back from uni one arvo and decided to check my house’s post box and I saw a lil pic of paper stating Bible study thingy. It was good just getting to know other people on resis like Erika, Matty, Orgden, Judy, Jinnie, Holly, Sandra and others. Missing you all heaps.

First semester was not too bad. Other than acknowledging that aussies drink a fair bit of alco which seem like water to them regardless the time. There were other freaky stuff too, different personalities in people I met but it was all good. I learnt something out of that. Well I reckon in every experience there is something to learn behind it. Just days before I left for KL, back in June, Nimra had a birthday party and thank God I went. That was when I found out Hillsong extension church exist in Macarthur which is near my uni. Thanks to Misani for informing me and Judy about it. Still remember walking into that church guided by the church’s member and so happen the girl, who guided us in, names Ruth too.

Back in KL, I did more thinking and meeting up with people. I reached home on Wednesday and shortly after that Dr Koh passed on, on Friday. While on Saturday my cousin got married and then again on Sunday dad’s friend’s dad passed on. It was a big impact on me. Thought me to treasure life and push my limits for the fullest in life. During winter vacation back home, there were more things to be powdered about.

Second semester came picking up fast, and now I am already done with my final paper earlier today. This semester has passed fast, there were heaps of things I observed, learnt and gotten hands on experiences and etc. There were times all I can do is continue to wait and continue believing in faith. Along this entire year I have been picking up heaps of pieces to complete this massive jigsaw puzzle of mine which is still in the making.

It has almost a year now being down under here. There have been heaps of times I wondered and wondered why on earth will I be placed here in Campbelltown? Where Malaysian can hardly be found. Being in a western suburbs where lifestyle and culture are totally unfamiliar to me. Being away form the city has taught me to learn about other suburbs and their whereabouts.
I will end with this in this journey of life, there will be heaps of people/situations/challenges who will let you down and discourage you from moving towards your goal. But the most important thing is this, whether you have a firm stand. If you do, stay firm on it and press on to the finish line. The journey to the finish line may be hard for nothing is easy but persevere on.


As I continue waiting in Brook Besor, I pray that Lord you continue to speak tender words to the tired heart.

Cheers
ruth

p/s-need sleep.. heading to victoria.. toodles noodles..

Entry 258

It has been five years now ..
yeah i will remember this day for life ..
it just took :

One Problem

One Challenge

One Option

One Decision

One Outcome

some may remember what happened to me
some may not

But this past FIVE years has been a huge challenge for me
At merely 14 i went through a major operationg that cost me to loose sports for awhile
From a hyper active person i had to take a turn to being a vegetable
Still remember all i could do was sleep and have heaps of rest
In ICU the machine kept on beeping when i stop breathing
At that stage all i could do was fight the pain that was indescribable
Six days after the sugery, i sit up for the first time
There was intense pain in my head and it felt like bursting
It was Saturday, that was the day Chin Looi and Cynthia came all the way to visit me at the hospital and sitting up on the chair for nearly an hour in my new sticthed up body.
At a young age having to let go everything was really though.
Was at the peak of my high school years where i had every opportunity to represent school for all kinds of sports but i had to let it go and just get used to my new circumstances and sit for PMR the following year.

Shortly before the sugery, me as a not perfect human being was really having mixed feelings.
Not knowing to whom should i share my circumstances, words just couldn't seem to come out.
Putting up a smile everyday trying to comfort myself that everything will be alright.
But time just kept speeding up each day.
Honestly at 14 i was really scared, i am sure my parents were too for allowing me to undergo such dangerous sugery.
At that time, i was really asking God WHY ME of the few BILLION PEOPLE IN THE WORLD? WHY HAS IT GOT TO BE ME?
Well obviously i didn't get the answer then and there.

Entry 246


Earlier today i got a text regarding somebody passing on ..
this is the prolly the 6th or 7th news on somebody passing on this year for me.
a good friend of mine reminded me regarding how life is so fragile
you never know when you will be gone

Entry 236


-PLAY WELL-
-WORK HARD-
-STUDY SMART-



p/s- Blue Mountain trip was heaps good ... will update bout it later
- now back to the SLEEP EARLY cycle hahaha..
- have a good week all !!

entry 226

well side track awhile..will update pics in the next few post..
(note:all pic doesn't have any relation..just felt like puttin in some =) )
Saturday



Had an exam like for an hour only LOL!!, which I reckon they should prolong the exam duration to prolly 2 hours or something. It’s like TAXATION LAW man! 40% man. That’s beside the point well so today I decided to go back to visit my lil cousins. Due to the track works it took me like 3 hours to get to my destination which normally it will only take me an hour or at most 2 hours. Well though it was a long journey like I had to take couple of buses and trains but it is worth it.

Anyway while waiting in the final bus that takes me to my cousin’s place, there was this Chinese couple, kinda elderly and prolly tourist, who neither being able to speak nor read English. They got up the bus and soon realized that it was the wrong bus. Just at that moment this came into my mind that how blessed I am. As in I am able to learn English and be able to converse with other with it. Coming from Malaysia where English is the second primary language, indeed I consider myself really blessed to be able to learn English and able to speak it. Though to some people this might seem so insignificant but yeah, so often I tend to forget these lil things in life, where not everyone is given such opportunity so treasure it. Yeah just for your info, Malaysia’s primary language is MALAY, yeah it’s a compulsory subject that had to be taken and passed to get through the public school primary and high school. Do I speak malay now? Well to who ? the wall huh? Haha..well recently I receieved an email form a friend who asked me couple of malay stuff and I was like, it definitely been awhile since I wrote some. Haha as far as I remember, the last time I prolly spoken it was maybe when I was at mamak when I was home in june/july.

During my journey all the way from south to up north, to kill boredom I was reading some book and at the same time noticing lil kid. Well as usual when I’m anywhere when I come across lil kids around all my siblings age, I just wish I couldn’t be back home spending time with them, helping them through life by being by their side and seeing them grow up to be great woman and man. At the same time I gotta thank my parents for giving me the opportunity to go abroad to further my studies at a young age. Thanks MUM n DAD. Love ya =)


Recently or should I say heaps of weird events have been going on around the globe. Well I reckon weird events such as kidnapping, murdering and so on has been occurring ever since Adam and Eve’s time, where sin eats up into human being. Due to my current exams, I have been real busy and caught up with it. Therefore, I am a lil outdated about some recent biggie news. There were two so called big news which is interrelated. One happened in Aussie. Where a lil gal was abducted and abandon by her dad in the airport in Melbourne. Another is where a lil gal in KL, M’sia was abducted and later on found dead. Yeah it all took place in Wangsa Maju near Taman Melawati where I am from. Well that’s beside the point. The thing that gets me is that the parents of the lil gal gave her permission to go to Pasar Malam and guess what she is only 8 years old? That’s my lil sister’s age. Well my parents will NEVER allow her to go to the Pasar Malam though it’s fairly near our house. It gets me because well who on his/her right mind would allow such thing? Oh well I’m really blessed that my DAD was firm bout’ the whole going out thingy when I was younger. Though when I was younger I admit I really was angry and thinking how overprotected my dad is whilst you know what leads on bad attitude and yada yada.. bout’ not allowing me to go out and all. But come to think of it now, if my dad wasn’t that strict to me when I was younger I wonder what kind of brat I will turn out today. Haha.. yeah.. You didn’t see that coming from me eyh ? Well yeah neither did I see that coming from myself like couple of years ago when I was back in high school. But I thank God for such a dad who is ever loving, ever graceful, ever forgiving, ever helpful, forever smiling(guess I got it fr him..lol) though he has a lil traditional mind set/conservative but I really thank god for him. He has been a blessing to me in heaps of ways, it would be a never ending list coz it keeps going on and on. Oh well back in high school come to think of it I didn’t really have much think to waste haha coz I was forever busy with heaps of stuff. Not forgetting the amount of sports I played. So, I got the fullest out of my high school days haha..met heaps of people along the way from different schools, backgrounds, personality, mind sets, manner of speech, attitude, behavior, action& conduct and so on. It was a great experience which I will barely trade it just for a night out without my parent’s approval.

Anyway, my point is this. I feel blessed with the parents I have, siblings I have, relatives I have, friends I made and people that have come through my life. So often, I tend to forget these lil things in life which actually do make a significant in our lives without us realizing it. Therefore, life is short so treasure every lil thing coz nothing comes easy. Besides, why bother getting on the rage due to people’s actions, just show some good example and do the right thing.

Sunday
Well today..slept late coz i stayed up..DUH !! hahaha..yeah neway got myself to church and then had lunch after that at some elderly church member’s house. Just a lil background, this lovely couple has 4 lovely children and a big lovely cozy house. One of their child was handicap not sure the full details but I could see how graceful they were though I reckon they had gone through heaps in life. They are so positive about things which made me wanna be like them. As in being positive even though at time things may not turn out like how we want them to be. I’m blessed to have a pair of hands and legs, able to speak and walk. I have pledge that as long as I can move and walk I will continue to play sports. Well it sound a lil absurd to some people but I guess if you have experienced something taken away from you, prolly you will understand it. So treasure everything that you have coz you never know when it will be taken away from you.


By the way i'm just curious..
how do u measure being blessed? let me know =P
or how bout this ..
HOW ARE U BLESSED ??

cheers
ruth

Entry 218



Earlier this morning

Jason who vanished out of my life came back in
and he got me thinking about stuff ..

some other people got me thinking too

there are heaps of stuff that just keeps making me pull this 'brake'
to stop and think..
but at the moment what bothers me the most is what Jason said .

What is your interest ?
-heaps-

and he told me heaps about his con-current course which is medicine.
i don't why it keeps on bothering me..

And it brings me back to square one of this massive crossroad again..
which i have been thinking about seriously since the begining of last year ..


saying the phrase "I will let it go" seems simple
but to actually carry out that whole thing is a different story..

but well i guess all i can do now is :
continue pursuing in my course for the best
and continue DIGGING DEEP FOR THE SEARCH
and continue thinking hard
and continue waiting ..
i will be alright ...

take care n GOd bless

cheers
ruth

Entry 217

What is COOL on Friday nights?
it would be the PUBS AND BARS
for most drinkers coz it's party night for them..
well for me who isn't a drinker ..
only drinks occassionally
has better things to do on FRIDAY NITEz !!

Letz hit POWERHOUSE !!
(reuben here are some pics u requested for =P)

Fridays are off days for me ..
which means NO UNI !! yay !!
but yeah today was kinda a productive day i gotta say..
got up prolly about 10-11am..(late i know!! oh well i dun have class!!)
then did some study and did an online quiz for management foundation lol..
yeah then hit the gym for some work out ..
since i paid the money and kinda broke now ..
so i am gonna make full use of it !!
make the money worth (",)
then walk with ogden and maruf to Macarthur Station for the train..


LIL BACKGROUND:

Hillsongs is a massive big church in Sydney .
A fairly huge one which has two main campuses
one at Baulkham Hills and another at the City ..
but there are heaps of extension churches in Suburbs all around Sydney ..
You might heard of Hillsongs ..
yeah they release albums each year with songs they compose..
they are good stuff !!
they have been to Malaysia for concerts and conferences ..


POWERHOUSE :

Is a youth service which caters for college & uni students and also young working adults ..
It is held every Friday from 8-10pm @ Baulkham Hills ..
each Friday night great events, speakers and others awaits us !
it is real good to see heaps of young people passionate about their believes
and aren't afraid to stand up to what they believe in
and never get tired of worship ..
that is the Enthusiasm of passionate people .. =)

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
How it got kicking for me ?

A uni friend , Erika took me there once .. and ..
A week before i left for home in KL, M'sia i attended Nimra's party(a friend on uni residence..yeah will update on tat ..later =P da b'thday)
met a dude called Misani who told me and Judy about the Hillsongs's Church at
Campbelltown .. yeah so we both checked it out the next day ..on sunday of course !
yeah it was so convienent and close to uni .
it was good..



btw pics on my M'sia Trip (click on it) is there ..

alright back on story ..
This is the Hillsongs,

Campbelltown extension service Church


THe main Hillsongs Campus @ Baulkham Hills
it has a massive auditorium
like some sort of stadium ..


the music was good ..
lights were better ..
the atmosphere was there ..
and on top of all that ..
i got into the worship and was just giving my all ..
it was real good ..
that feeling is indescribable ...
you gotta have that personal encounter to know it ..


it's my 3rd time to powerhouse ..
it is real good to see the whole auditorium being packed full !
yeah especially on Friday nights..


there was some big event today ..
so couple of presentations ..


had a Guest Speaker - Benny Perez

he gave a great sermon about Passionate people ..

*it should b "one cold night by the motorway"*

*don't blame me if u feel hungry now..*

Entry 215

thanks ally for this :

But those who wait on the LORD Shall renew their strength;They shall mount up with wings like eagles,They shall run and not be weary,They shall walk and not faint.
- Isaiah 40:31

Entry 214

It has been nearly a week since i came back down under ..
my week has passed fast !!
well coz it has been uni,sleeping,reading,sporting,eating,sleeping , and etc..
yeah..
been catching up with my sleep lately..

anyway..

DO u have siblings ?
well i have ..

in fact i have 3 other siblings ...
that aint that many coz i know of a friend who has
7 other siblings and she is surviving ... (",)

To those who have siblings :
just gotta a few questions for u ...
1.Do u love them dearly ?
2.Have u ever thought of getting rid of them ?
3.Have you ever thought why God brought them into your life ?
4.Why are they just so annoying ?
5.Cute ? hmph.. u gotta be kidding ... you can have him/her (my fav line haha..)

well it can go on and on ..
does it sound familiar ?

neway ..
when i was back in KL ..
i just pop by a shop .. a souvenier shop..
and i found something special (to me .... )

Siblings are like a Jigsaw puzzle ...


everyone comes in different sizes and shapes..
some siblings may be tall,others may be short,
some may be thin,others may be chubby,
some may be friendly,others may be shy
some may be funny,others may be serious
and on and on


but when we siblings fight ..
the pieces just don't fit one another anymore ...
well i guess the more we fight , the more we bond ..
(it depends also)


i guess when we fight ,
that is when we try to learn how to understand each another better.
change ourselves for the better ..
coz we can't change others but we can CHANGE ourselves !
sometimes it takes time and effort ,
not forgetting patience ..
but as long as u make effort and play ur part
NOthing Is Impossible ..

Coz what i believe is this ..
siblings are the most incredible gift God has given us ..
He made us all different ..
even LOOK DIFFERENT !!
though they sometimes do get me on my nerves..
but yeah ..
i'm proud to say that i don't regret being apart of them as their sister..
eventhough sometimes we get into crappy fights and arguements..
well it's part and parcel of life !
you can't get away from that
but you can get THrough it !

That is when the pieces of the jigsaw puzzle FITs Niecely =)

so i urge you to treasure them..
well i'm learning day by day to Love them more ..
i'm not perfect
but i know it is not impossible
as long i try i will be able to ..
that is how i like to think it ..

take care n God bless

cheers
ruth

Entry 213

Uni started again for me since yesterday ...
it has been abit laggy ..
yeah talk bout hols mood ...
time passed pretty quickly as soon as uni started..
coz i didn't really had much time to sit by and think about stuff..
been busy catching up with my sleep..
haven had time to sleep when i was back in KL ..
seriously it was one busy and hectic hols but i have

NO REGRETS about it !!

not until earlier today during on of the tutorials i had around 4pm ..
was listening to what the tutor had to say and all ..
but twice i slipped off thinking about stuff ..
yeah about things that happened back in my winter trip..


-Da' DArk SIDE -
You know what ..
sometimes when you are put into the dark ..
someday the dark side will be revealed to you !!
that is what i believe in...

though at times you will feel real frustrated and even think of

(what do u call this ? )
lol.. i'm too happy to kill anyone lol.. hahaha...

well
no matter how hard people try to hide things away from you
sooner or later they will reveal it to you ..
it is like sin, it will catch up with you sooner or later ! ..
you might get away the 1st few times but then it will catch up with you.

well i'm not touching bout sin here ..
i'm just using it as a Metaphor...
neway i went out one day with this someone during my stay in kl ..
and we were just talking ...
and just updated each other with our own lives
then suddenly this pal of mine i think couldn't take it any longer
and decided to reveal everything about his situations..
you know what ..
in that instant i saw the burden he has been keeping the last few months
just went away .. you should have seen his face ..
i guess the amount of guilt he has to take upon himself was just too much.

-Language-
earlier this evening i was just reading some blogs ..
it hit me again ..
about language people use nowadays..
it got me thinking ..
what made me have that stand not to use such languages..
i gotta admit i do use some of these faul languages
but yeah when i was young & innocent .. haha forgive me ..
but oh well ..
neway i dun fine it cool ..
so that is why i seldom use all those crappy languages in my speech & blog haha..

-COMPLAINs-
during my trip in M'sia a friend told me this , why you don't complain?
well my answer is this why complain ?
it will not change ur circumstances in abit !!
you think the more you complain ..
the easier your circumstances will be isit ?
nah it never happens !! maybe somthing will happen ..
ur situation will be worst !

I think this post is abit jumbled up .. coz everything is rushing through my mind now ..
like every other thing is like jumping up at the back of my mind asking me to pick them..
imagine M&M jumping and say "pick me !! pick me !!"

-just me-
neway i gotta say i'm a simple person ..
don't really bother about what people say about me ..
well i guess through experience is this ..
to change a person is a difficult mission
but to change yourself is NOT IMPOSSIBLE !!
since school days i'm not that goody two shoes person ..
and if i was there were heaps of things i wouldn't be able to experienced !
talk bout peer pressure !! hahaha..
yea .. when every other gal in skewl is trying to get as many boyfriends..
what do i do ?
i try to get into heaps of sports ..
so yea .. i don't regrets my decision of being so sporty
eventhough i get many remarks but you know what at the end of the day ..
you are living your own lives not your friend's lives nor your parent's lives.
you have one life
give ur best shot
venture into heaps of things ..
coz you never know when you will pass on ..
i have come to the stage that what people say about me
doesn't affected me deeply anymore ..

so why bother telling people how bad they are when you,yourself aren't perfect too ?
sounds abit crappy rite ?
but well there are heaps of people doing that ..
some do that out of concern but other do that because they are plain 'kepo'
sigh**...
oh well ..
neway in this life ..
you need to have principles and certain grounds of things that you believe in ..
that is what i think ..

HOW BOUT U ? WHAT DO U THINK ?
tell me ur opinion...
i would love to know (",)


take care n GOd bLess
cheers
ruth